Today I got up before sunrise and endured the cold, the wind, and the abundant snowfall of late April. Why? To help out, or at least experience for my own sake, the branding of calves on the Flying K ranch.

My brother's girlfriend is related to the Kahls, who own and operate this ranch just west of Mandan. Every year the Kahls invite as many people as will come, city slickers included, out to their ranch to help out. The more people that show up, the quicker the work is done.

I grew up in agricultural towns, but I'd never even been on a ranch. And it had been probably ten years since I touched a cow. And I'd never tackled a calf before. Today I did it four times.

So how does a rancher go about branding hundreds of calves? Here are ten steps to branding:

1. Mount your horse and bring the cows in from the pasture. Since I don't have a horse or a clue how to ride one, I watched from a hilltop in a pickup. Here's a snapshot of the ranch from above.

   

2. Separate the cows from their calves. Again, I don't have a clue how to do this. I spent this time in the barn enjoying a little breakfast next to the heater and thinking I was crazy to come out in this cold weather. It started to snow heavily at this point. Luckily, the snow melted quickly.

3. Herd a few calves at a time into a corral with a bunch of clueless people such as myself.

4. As demonstrated by my brother and his girlfriend, find the smallest calf you can, and try to tackle it.

   

5. Fail to tackle it. Try again.

   

6. And again.

   

7. And yet again.

   

8. Success.

   

   Hold the calf down until a real cowboy stops by with the branding iron. The calf also gets two injections. Then release the poor confused animal to the pasture. Repeat several hundred times, once for each calf.

9. Chow down on an amazing meal prepared by the rancher's wife and family. They served delicious roast beef, of course.

10. Take a shower and do laundry.

All around a bad day for cows. But at least I had fun.

Nobody on Earth knows if God exists. People can only have faith. Which is just as good as concrete fact, to a faithful individual. But my point is that, if God does indeed exist and I've decided to ignore that possibility, I may be doing so at my own peril.

After a lot of thought, I decided there is nothing I've seen, heard, read, or thought of that proves a God does not exist. Certainly, there is room for God in the universe. This leads me to the question "So if God is real, what do we know about Him?"

So I studied. I reviewed all I learned back in my Lutheran confirmation classes. And I learned about the Catholic church. After a bit of reflection and study, I can look around me and see God's grace all around.

I have a lot to learn. And I still understand most of this on a mainly academic level. But I felt comfortable making a proclamation of my faith, in the sacrament of confirmation. So today I came back to the Catholic church.

I chose the confirmation name of St. Thomas Aquinas. This means I was inspired by my cursory knowledge of this saint's life story, and hope to emulate it in at least some way. I was impressed by the idea that reason and logic can be used to explain or understand God. St. Thomas, as I understand him, used his mind to think very logically about the existence of God in a concrete, realistic way. That said, I haven't yet read any of his writings. I'm told they are not easy to read, but some day I'd like to try.

My confirmation mass was very private. There were eight of us present in the small chapel at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit in Bismarck. My cousin, Father Kenny Phillips, led the mass. My grandpa, Robert Brunelle, was my sponsor.

Following the mass, we took the usual group photos. Pictured below, left to right, are my good friend Cat, myself, another friend Melanie, my mom, Father Phillips, my grandma, and grandpa. Kenny's parents, Audrey and Gary, were also present. But they didn't get into the picture.

After the group photos, everyone migrated to my house for dinner before parting ways. Thank you everyone who came to show their support. And thanks to Cat for the photos.

The sun is setting, and the sky is awash in all manner of colors. A wind chime sounds gently in the breeze, just below my window. And I can hear the neighborhood kids singing "Ring Around the Rosey" as they jump on the trampoline. This excites their dog to no end.

I can hear the sportbike riders cruising down Burleigh avenue, the sound beckoning me to mount my Suzuki and give chase.

The smell of barbecue is wafting through the window. Spring is definitely here. And oh, it is sooo nice.

A while back, I rambled on about how God did not seem evident in the city around me. I attempted to reason logically and scientifically, as I am inclined to do, about the existence of a God. I got a massive headache and was nearly ready to proclaim myself an agnostic - to give up the argument and say we can never know.

But a discussion began. Friends, relatives, and even a stranger or two encouraged me to take another look from a different perspective - the perspective of history, philosophy, and faith. So I did. And the result has been a period of education about all manner of Christian faith - a very humbling experience. There is so much to read and study! So much history and tradition! It would completely overwhelm me, had I no previous education on the matter.

You see, I have somewhat of a strange past. I was Baptised as a Catholic, confirmed as a Lutheran, and I ignored God for a period of several years. My education at the Catholic church where I first attended a decade or more ago was very confusing. Perhaps it was too much for my young mind. I remember thinking "this makes no sense," and my teachers at the time couldn't sufficiently explain it to me.

When I began studying for a Lutheran confirmation, I became very interested in the subject. I quickly ditched the confusing, stuffy traditions of the Catholic church. It made sense to me that the Bible, essentially immune from change and politics, should be my only guide. I enjoyed the Lutheran worship services and fellowship very much. They taught me most of what I know about God and the Bible.

Then I went off to UND, and in the subsequent years I slowly abandoned almost all practice of my faith.

Until I met Cat. She inspired me to decide what I believe in regards to this most important issue. And so I, once again, have been studying the Catholic church. This time with the help of my cousin, Fr. Kenny Phillips.

After taking a second look at the Catholic church, as an adult, the Lutheran church almost looks like a single chapter of a book, taken alone, and out of context. It does make sense, but it's not the whole story.

I didn't plan on this when I posted that blog entry months ago. But today I am seriously considering coming back to the Catholic church through the sacrament of confirmation.

I have no idea where this new journey in faith will lead me. Only time will tell.