A reexamination of my faith

A while back, I rambled on about how God did not seem evident in the city around me. I attempted to reason logically and scientifically, as I am inclined to do, about the existence of a God. I got a massive headache and was nearly ready to proclaim myself an agnostic - to give up the argument and say we can never know.

But a discussion began. Friends, relatives, and even a stranger or two encouraged me to take another look from a different perspective - the perspective of history, philosophy, and faith. So I did. And the result has been a period of education about all manner of Christian faith - a very humbling experience. There is so much to read and study! So much history and tradition! It would completely overwhelm me, had I no previous education on the matter.

You see, I have somewhat of a strange past. I was Baptised as a Catholic, confirmed as a Lutheran, and I ignored God for a period of several years. My education at the Catholic church where I first attended a decade or more ago was very confusing. Perhaps it was too much for my young mind. I remember thinking "this makes no sense," and my teachers at the time couldn't sufficiently explain it to me.

When I began studying for a Lutheran confirmation, I became very interested in the subject. I quickly ditched the confusing, stuffy traditions of the Catholic church. It made sense to me that the Bible, essentially immune from change and politics, should be my only guide. I enjoyed the Lutheran worship services and fellowship very much. They taught me most of what I know about God and the Bible.

Then I went off to UND, and in the subsequent years I slowly abandoned almost all practice of my faith.

Until I met Cat. She inspired me to decide what I believe in regards to this most important issue. And so I, once again, have been studying the Catholic church. This time with the help of my cousin, Fr. Kenny Phillips.

After taking a second look at the Catholic church, as an adult, the Lutheran church almost looks like a single chapter of a book, taken alone, and out of context. It does make sense, but it's not the whole story.

I didn't plan on this when I posted that blog entry months ago. But today I am seriously considering coming back to the Catholic church through the sacrament of confirmation.

I have no idea where this new journey in faith will lead me. Only time will tell.