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Two-Wheeled Evangelist (part 2 of 2)
07/02/08 00:26 , Categories: life with god 
“So, do you think priests will ever be allowed to marry?”
Just as no one can have an ordinary child of flesh and blood without there being a union of flesh and blood first, no one can generate spiritual life without first having union with the Spirit. Marriage, which seems to us to be such a wonderful consummation of love, is only a faint shadow, a kind of symbol, of the wedding of the Spirit of God to humanity; and it is from that wedding that Christ was born into the world.1
The answer to that question, “So, do you think priests will ever be allowed to marry,” is complex. As I said in my last post, this question was asked of me several times during my bicycle trip from Saint Louis, Missouri, to Omaha, Nebraska. I was very dissatisfied with my answer, which could be summarized like this: “A priest’s lifestyle is too demanding for him to also satisfy a family.”
Having now participated in courses at the Institute for Priestly Formation, I’ve come up with a few more substantial answers to the question. The quote from Houselander, above, begins to express what I want to convey in this article. I’ll try to unpack the issue as succinctly as I can. First, I’ll explain how priests are not essentially unmarried. Next, I’ll try to convince you that celibate men aren’t crazy. Thirdly, I’ll explain what marriage, as a sacrament, really is. And, finally, I’ll get to the heart of the matter: four reasons that priests are usually unmarried. I’ll close out this piece by including a few of my own thoughts.
Priests aren’t essentially unmarried
Some priests actually are married. Priests of the Orthodox Church, for example, can be married so long as they are married before their ordination. Those men are no less Catholic priests than the celibate priests of the Roman Catholic Church. Yet that does not mean the Orthodox and Catholic Churches disagree on the value of celibacy among their clergy. Bishops in the Orthodox Church must be celibate men, for example. Both Churches see value in celibacy. The Roman Church chooses to require celibacy when it ordains men because recognizes great value for the faithful. That value should become clearer as I continue to answer the question.
No sex? Are you crazy?
When I decided to enter seminary, it was a challenge to explain to everyone what I was doing. One evening I was sitting at a restaurant with some friends and acquaintances. Upon announcing that I was thinking about the priesthood, the very first question I heard from one of the girls sitting at the table was this: “So does that mean you’ll never be able to have sex!?” After I answered “yes,” she replied, in a state of shock and confusion, “How can you live like that?”
The truth is that she, and many others, misunderstand and misuse marriage and sex. These people may believe marriage is a license to enjoy sex with no consequences or deep meaning. They may think sexual relations are essential to happiness and health. Consequently, they think that marriage and celibacy are completely opposed to one another and that celibacy is unhealthy.
There is an elegant beauty to sex, to marriage, and to celibacy that someone who asks a question like “How can you live like that?” is unfortunately missing. Both married and celibate persons are called to chastity. They are called to put their desires under the control of their free will. Freedom does not, for example, mean spontaneously having sex whenever the desire to do so arises. That is slavery to hormones. True freedom is when a couple can say, lovingly and together, “We are aroused. But now is not the right time, so we will abstain.”
A priest, as a man, has sexual desires. As in the example of the couple I just gave, the priest’s desires should be subjected to his will. The same is true in both marriage and in celibacy. When sexual desires come about but cannot be expressed physically, one should offer those desires and feelings to God. At times that can be a cross, but the same situation exists at times for the Christian married couple.
The difference with the priest is that he lives entirely without physical, sexual encounters. This is possible and not unhealthy, despite what our culture today says about it. I know hundreds of healthy, happy, celibate men and women. They see value in sex, of course. It is good and beautiful. They have merely chosen to accept God’s calling to express love in a different manner.
Sacramental Marriage and Celibacy
Sacraments are earthly things. As such, they are not necessary in heaven. They are “efficacious signs” that point to a higher reality and bring that reality about. In other words, marriage exists to point us to and draw us into union with God while we’re here on Earth. Christopher West explained this well:
As a sacrament, the ‘one flesh’ union of marriage is only a sign and foreshadowing of things to come. According to the analogy, we’re created for spousal union with God. That’s what sexual desire ultimately points us to – our desire for heaven. There, Christ will make a gift of himself to humanity in a beatifying experience completely beyond anything proper to earthly life. … Only by looking toward this heavenly reality can we properly understand the celibate vocation. As we read in the gospel, Christ calls some of his followers to embrace celibacy, not for celibacy’s sake but ‘for the sake of the kingdom’ (Mt 19:12). ‘The kingdom’ is precisely the heavenly marriage. In short, those who choose celibacy are ‘skipping’ the sacrament in anticipation of the real thing. By expressing the ‘I do’ of a marriage commitment directly to God, celibates step beyond the dimension of history – while living within the dimension of history – and dramatically declare to the world that the kingdom of God is here (see Mt 12:28).2
Reasons for a celibate priesthood
Now that I’ve explained all of that background information, I’ll try to explain the four reasons priests should be celibate and unmarried. The list is not exhaustive by any means. It is merely the fruit of my study and prayer.
1. Priest as Eschatological Sign
As I was just discussing, sacramental marriage points to a more real, “heavenly” marriage—union with God. That is a major purpose of the sacrament of marriage. A priest “skips” sacramental marriage in favor of imitating the higher reality to which it points. As the priest ministers to the people, sharing the fruit of his prayer and study with them, he is a constant reminder that there is an eternal reality for which to strive.
His witness and example is credible, in part, because of what he has given up to live in the celibate state. As wonderful as marriage and family are, the priest has sacrificed that life (and it IS a sacrifice for him!) to answer God’s call to love in a different way. If you get to know a priest, you’ll most likely realize he’s not crazy. He made an informed choice when he made that sacrifice. In him, you should see a man in love, a man satisfied by his relationship with God and the Church, and a man happy to point you down the path to your own experience of that eternal, ultimate reality of union with God. That is his very purpose in life: to be an eschatological sign for his people. Raniero Cantalamessa, a very influential Italian priest and renowned preacher, put it this way: “The married are reminded by virgins of the primacy of God and of the things that do not pass away.”3
2. Priest as dedicated laborer
As Saint Paul says, “An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided” (1 Cor 7:32-34).
The ministry of the priest is very demanding. For the ministry to be rooted in a deep relationship with God, a great deal of time must be spent in prayer. Ideally, this is an hour each and every day of quiet, uninterrupted time for prayer. Even as a celibate priest without a family, that is difficult to achieve. The people of the parish, the priest’s spiritual family, also have countless needs at all hours of the day and night. Being dedicated completely to his ministry, the priest can go wherever he is needed in the diocese. He can run to the hospital in the middle of the night. He can spend hours working on homilies after the parish office has closed for the day.
Don’t look with disappointment at your priest because he hasn’t experienced marriage as a husband with a family. You should be grateful because you benefit greatly from his ministry. As Cantalamessa wrote, “Consecrated virginity, therefore, is not a private matter, a private choice of perfection. On the contrary, it is ‘for the common good’ to be used ‘to serve’ others. The gift is destined only for some, for those who are called, but all are its beneficiaries.”4
3. Priest as called to celibacy by God
While I’m still fairly new at the regular practice of prayer, I have discerned what I believe to be a call to serve God as a Catholic priest. I’ve begun to know a bit of what God’s love might be like through these periods of prayer. My point is that God does speak to us and he does call us to a certain vocation in life. While the priesthood is not essentially a call to celibacy, I do believe God calls men and women to live celibate lives. We see that in Scripture, for example, when Jesus is discussing marriage and celibacy: “Not all can accept (this) word, but only those to whom that is granted.” Jesus is referring here to the disciples’ suggestion that in some cases it is better “not to marry.” Jesus continued, explaining that some have been granted that calling and have “renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” He concludes, saying “Whoever can accept this ought to accept it” (Mat 19:11-13).
Cantalamessa has an excellent insight on this point. He explains that “You do not choose celibacy and virginity in order to enter into the Kingdom, but because the Kingdom has entered into you. In other words, you do not remain a virgin in order to save your soul more easily, but because the Kingdom, or rather the Lord, has taken possession of you, chosen you, and you feel the need to remain free to respond fully to that choice.”5 Priests choose to answer God’s call to celibacy because they believe it is their path to holiness.
4. Priest as “another Christ”
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the priest should not marry because he is “another Christ.” Because Jesus did not marry, priests who desire to live as he lived should also not marry. It goes deeper than mere imitation, however. There is a sacramental reality to the priest’s identification with Jesus Christ. Christopher West explained it this way:
Christ was not married to one particular woman because he came to marry the whole human race. The Church is his eternal Bride. Ordained priests become a sacrament of Christ. They make the love of the heavenly Bridegroom efficaciously present in the Church, particularly in the Eucharistic Sacrifice. Acting in the person of Christ, priests also marry the Church.6
The priest truly is, by the grace of his ordination, the person of Christ at the altar. In that sense, he is married to the Church. I know, that sounds strange. But trust me. The reality is somehow present there.
My own thoughts
The understanding of celibacy which I have just outlined is largely new to me. I’m still processing the information and trying to internalize it. I trust that God will continue to guide me in prayer. If he wishes that I serve him as a celibate and a priest, I am confident he will make that desire known.
The courses at the Institute for Priestly Formation have greatly improved my appreciation of both marriage and celibacy. I have a newfound appreciation for the beauty inherent in each vocation.
I now close with a short reflection on spiritual fatherhood. Try to picture this scene as it unfolds. Standing behind the altar, the priest is bent forward, looking at the bread in his hands. He utters “This is my body, which will be given up for you.” As he mouths those words, ever so reverently, he knows that he is not merely repeating the words of Christ. He is truly offering his own body, completely, to his bride the Church. He is sacrificing himself completely, as Christ did upon the cross.
His eyes are fixed on the host as he elevates it for the faithful to adore. He knows that he holds the presence of Jesus in his hands. Intense emotion floods over him. He is deeply in love. As he pauses in the silence, his eyes adjust their focus outward. He sees, in the front pew, a child he has baptized. New spiritual life, brought about by his ministry. He sees the married couple whose marriage he recently witnessed. The priest sees their love for one another and rejoices in it. “These are my spiritual children,” he thinks. Their life in Christ is the fruit of his own relationship with Jesus and the Church.
His eyes focus again on the Host in his hands as he lowers it to the paten. He genuflects slowly and thanks God for this beautiful life.
1Caryll Houselander, The Reed of God (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2006), 84.
2Christopher West, Good News about Sex & Marriage (Cincinnati, OH: St Anthony Messenger Press, 2004), 164.
3Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, Virginity: A Positive Approach to Celibacy for the Sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. (New York: Society of St Paul, 1995), 64.
4ibid., 63.
5ibid., 55.
6West, 166.
The image is a composite of images from Wikimedia Commons and Lifeteen.
